Reflection

During my CT/CLT/Team meeting/mandatory weekly meeting with those people that teach the same subject or grade as me, we were asked to reflect on this past year. We were invited to share our peach and our pit. Peach being the good, bit being the bad. I was unable to come up with anything beyond surface level at the time but after more processing time I came to my conclusion. This year was all and all a lot easier then every other year in my history of teaching. This is amazing considering that I moved to a new school, worked with new teammates, taught a new grade level, and had to learn a whole new system of doing stuff...i.e. middle school vs. Elementary.

I say it was easier because there was a lot less work. All of the administrative crap that I had to do in elementary was no longer my responsibility. Plus, I have finally learned to ask for help or delegate work. I am almost always caught up on my work because I am more organized and willing to share the responsibility.

Now this being said, this also leads me to my puts. Behavior was tough. Really tough. I cannot handle these emotional, horomonal, crazy people...and yes I mean my students. I overheard a kid tell a teacher today that she didn't care that the teacher didn't get paid to stay after school, that's what teachers signed up for. I could not believe me ears and was at loss for words.

As in most cases some students think I'm nice, others think I'm tough, and some are convinced that I am Satan's spawn. But I have felt that I did not do a good job with staying patient. There were times when I didn't have the right tools to handle a disrespectful and unwilling student. So I would threaten them with going to the office or calling home...which I soon realized got neither of us anywhere. It always made more work for me because the student never completes their assignment in the office which means I have to give them more time and I nevered remembered to talk to them about the incident.

You expect me to remember what happened two days ago? I don't remember the beginning of class.

This year was filled with a lot more students that would one day tell me I am the best teacher on earth, and the next day call me a biatch.

But this also lends itself to my peach, I was consistent. It got to the point that this one girl...a frequent visitor of the office.. would only follow rules in my class because as she told the administration Ms. Olson is a rule follower and she will write me up. So yep.

I feel like I didn't establish as deep of a connection this year with my students. I didn't get to see them as much, but I also didn't take time each class to do a 5 minute get to know ya. I could have made more of an effort...and I wonder how that would have effected my classroom behaviors.

I could have also been a better teammate. I often judgemental and I sometimes get into this mindset that if someone proves themselves incompetent once, I don't trust them again. My team this year was comprised of a bunch of young teachers that didn't really have a depth of knowledge about the working of our county, data, or school district. But I could have been more open to learning things about this new grade level. It might have saved me some trouble along the way.

My greatest, ultimate peach and pit this year was one student though. Me mentee. Labeled as at risk, crowd follower, and general maven of attitude. We became pretty close. And I feel like she trusts me. But through this trust came the heart breaking realization that she had been mentally and physically suffering all year. And I had no clue. I felt like I had failed her. Now every time I see her, I just want to hug her and tell her how much she has meant to me this year. How she made my year. And how I will never forget her.

This year was a Rollercoaster. But it is one I would ride again.